Everybody has a thing they'd like to be doing instead of what they are doing; a place they'd like to be rather than where they are... so why aren't we? It should be easy. Just do it. After all, you only live once.
Lately, I've been seeing a video pop up on social networks that addresses this. I agree with the theory wholeheartedly, but the execution leaves me stumped. Check it out:
Really, money shouldn't be a big deal if you're doing what you love, because if you love doing it, you'll have all you need, right? Maybe.
If I was younger... if I knew then what I know now... famous last words of every man through time as he gets older.
Part of me says that's no excuse. Part of me believes it's never to late to start over, or to start - period. But another part of me says it would have been easier to be carefree and give a whim my all when I was younger and unattached. My mother encouraged me to travel when I was young and said it would be harder when I got older. At the time, I was more interested in hanging out with my friends locally and I didn't see the big deal in travel. Now I do, and it's much harder to get away.
So many obstacles present themselves and I know certain personalities can just say "screw it" and go for it anyway. I've never been a risk-taker.
Now, I have a mortgage and kid and I find myself carefully calculating risks so as not to jeopardize my home and my family life. I know what I'd like to do if money were no object, but the fact is that the mortgage has to get paid and I need a reliable way to pay for it. It just makes it harder to go outside the box.
Aside from that, the mind plays tricks on you. Last year, I lost my job. I thought for a while that it would be the perfect opportunity to make a go of a career in writing. When ever would I have another opportunity to be at home alone during the day with just me and my laptop? But you know what happened? I was so worried about finding a "job" that I got writer's block. In the seven months I was off, I managed to pen less than 20,000 words. That might sound like a lot, but consider that during NaNoWriMo's annual November writing competition I managed to slug out 50,000 or more while working full time, 20,000 is a pretty poor showing.
Then recently, I discovered a contest - a dream of a lifetime - and I find myself talking myself out of it, too.
The website www.mydestination.com is holding a contest for an all expenses paid, six month long around-the-world trip. The winner will blog and vlog about what they see and do. Pretty much my dream job.
I spent the first 24 hours after I heard about it daydreaming about what I would see and do during my adventure. I was really excited. I could do this. It would be AMAZING. Perhaps even afterwards I could parlay it into something sustainable.
Then reality set in. That downer of a word that poo-poos all your great ideas. Could I really leave my family for six months? Would I be able to get a leave from work to do it? If not, was my job worth giving up for the opportunity? There is a cash prize at the end that would help, but we'd still have to carry the mortgage on one income in the meantime.
My husband would be a single parent, responsible for groceries and cleaning and pick-ups from daycare and extra-curriculars, paying the bills and running the house, all on his own. I'm sure he could do it, but would that be fair while I was off gallivanting around the world?
It was still tempting, though. Such an opportunity. Surely it was worthy of a six-month sacrifice?
But then I watched some of the early entries and was further discouraged. Could a suburban housewife compete with a gregarious 22 year old? A six-pack of beach body was a lot easier on the eyes than postpartum stretch marks, for sure.
I also felt technologically behind. Kids today have an inherent understanding of technology and seem to naturally know how to use PhotoShop and edit videos, whereas I have to take courses and keep a manual at the ready just to pull off something passable. I have no idea how to create engaging video like some of those posted by people even a decade younger.
The contest states that you don't have to be fancy, but let's face it: camera and editing skills make for a more engaging piece of work, don't they?
So now comes the inner dialogue and battle. Part of me says to give it my all and see what I can come up with anyway. One in a million is better than none in a million. The other part says it would be a waste of time for something that already has a ton of logistical obstacles. Perhaps now is just not the right time and if I hon my skills a bit more, maybe I'll be better prepared next time there is a contest like this... if there is another contest like this. Still, if you don't try, you can't possibly succeed. And, there is never a better time than now. There will always be a reason why now is not right. Sometimes you just have to take the plunge.
The contest runs for a few more weeks yet, so perhaps time will tell what my future holds...
